I know that I said pretty much this exact same thing in my last post but holy s***!! time is flying by! Today actually marks the halfway point of my ytt, which is welllll over the halfway point of this entire trip too. I’m sad that I only have 15 days left to soak in everything that not only my training here, but also Bali in general, has to offer. On the other hand, I’ve been away from home for a whole month now and am starting to miss the comforts of my own space. My bed. My fridge, stocked with whatever I want. My vitamix! My puppy, who I know is being well taken care of by my amazing family (thanks again guys!). Friends. Family. Internet that doesn’t take me back to the days of dial up with web pages taking a full minute to load sometimes (in case you were wondering why I’m not updating much…..THAT IS WHY).
At this halfway junction, I have sooooo many things that I want to share, but I can’t find the words. They’re not there yet. All the lovely yogis who I know who have done a teacher training told me the same thing – it takes a really long time to process what happens in this month. It’s been this weird wave of things coming up, then fading away. There are things that I’ve let go of that I have been wanting to for a long time. Then others that just keep nagging away in the back of my mind. They’re like an itch that I can’t quite scratch. Some of them are just these vague awarenesses that come to me sometimes in savasana, then disappear again by the time I come back into my body. Others are constant companions. I’m working on just accepting it as it comes.
I’ve also been working diligently on my patience this month. Anyone who knows me well, like beyond the “in public” side of me, knows that this virtue is not one that I was naturally bestowed with. I have whole days where I feel like the universe is playing with me, trying to find where the breaking point is. Extending that breaking point further and further is something I’ve been working on for years, but I knew that this month would push me way past my comfort zone. Being in such an intensive setting, 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 30 days? Crazy. And with a whole bunch of women?? Crazier. Sorry ladies, but man can we be annoying sometimes. It’s estrogen overload over here. But I’m really proud of my progress so far!
Speaking of work….I’ve been programming my class! One aspect of our testing is teaching a 60 minute class to the group, and I’m SO EXCITED for mine. So excited that I’m pretty sure that mine is at least 90 minutes long as of right now. And there’s nothing that I want to cut out. And the playlist I’ve been putting together for it? 2 hours and 28 minutes currently. So much for my fear of not knowing what to do. Tonight my villa-mate and I are going to “teach” each other our sequences, then start the inevitable process of trimming it down to size. And for those of you keeping track, that means that my grand total number of hours practicing yoga today will be around 9. Yes, everything hurts. Mostly in a good way.